Communication can play an important role in relationships between people with diabetes and the family and friends who support them. When communication is strong, supporters can become important members of the diabetes management team.
Here are 5 effective ways to improve diabetes-related communication.
1. Become educated together
The more you both learn about diabetes, the more you will understand each other’s challenges and frustrations. Even if an individual wants to handle diabetes management alone, it is still important for family members to be able to help if emergency situations arise. Talk about this together. Discuss diabetes emergency plans, including where emergency supplies are stored. Be clear about what help is required.
2. Listen at least as much as you talk
When we think about how we communicate, our natural instinct is to immediately think about how we speak and what we say. But in truth, listening is one of the most important parts of successful communication.
Instead of jumping to conclusions and interrupting as soon as your loved one starts talking, practice active listening. Let your loved one express in their own words what they need you to know. Try to really hear what he or she is saying, and then take time to think before passing judgment or offering advice.
3. Avoid mind-reading and making assumptions
Don’t assume that you know what the other person is thinking or wanting. Ask questions. If your loved one’s blood glucose levels suddenly start swinging, don’t immediately assume that they are not following the diabetes management plan. There can be other reasons, or the plan may need to be adjusted. Talk about it together and suggest a conversation with the diabetes healthcare team.
Keep communication channels open and ask each other for specific suggestions on what you can both do to make life easier.
4. Avoid discussions when emotions are high
If you are concerned that someone is not following diabetes management recommendations, choose to open a conversation when you are both calm and relaxed and have time to chat.
Avoid linking the conversation to any single action. Keep the tone supportive, and avoid “you” accusations. Talk as much as possible in terms of “we”. For example, instead of saying “You always take far too big portions when you eat,” say something like: “I’ve noticed that portion control is a challenge. What do you think we could do to make it easier? Let me know how I can help.”
People with diabetes can also use this technique effectively to help families and friends provide more appropriate support. For example, instead of saying: “You’re driving me crazy with your nagging,” say something like: “I am doing the best I can with my diabetes management and it upsets me when I feel you don’t have faith in me. Can we talk about areas where I would value your help?”
5. Use assertive phrasing with “saboteurs”
You are both likely to come across people who try to sabotage the diabetes management plan by urging acceptance of inappropriate foods. “Come on, do try it…just one cookie won’t hurt!” This can be particularly heard to deal with for people who are already having a hard time saying “no”.
Encourage your loved one to take personal responsibility for turning down the food. For example, instead of saying that even one cookie could be harmful, say something like: “I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I really don’t eat cookies.
