By having a deep sense of purpose, which is a deeper reason for taking care of your diabetes, the daily steps of care can become easier to accept.
Purpose, in the case of diabetes, is the active choice of why you do something. In terms of diabetes care, you may not want to test your blood sugar or take medication, but you are willing to do it for something that matters more to you. For example, many people with type 2 diabetes don’t want to take insulin. They will never want to do it, but they are willing to because of something more important to them, such as their grandchildren, their love of travel or simply to play an instrument.
Living for something bigger than yourself shifts your attention from wanting or not wanting to do something to a higher purpose. Self-care becomes a willingness to do something because of a larger purpose, one that is more important to you than getting a great A1C.
Living with purpose
So what gets in the way of living with a sense of purpose? Living with a chronic illness such as diabetes generates many negative thoughts that can trigger feelings of anger, sadness and worry. Thoughts such as “This is so hard,” “Why me?” or “I can’t do this for the rest of my life,” are common. The negatives are often centred on the emotional burden and the lack of success in managing the disease. These thoughts are understandable, normal and expected.
The first step in regaining a sense of purpose is accepting those thoughts. A start to acceptance can be as simple as using words such as “Be kind. Diabetes is very demanding.” Once accepting their presence, the key to learning for you is that these thoughts are understandable, but not helpful, in the sense that they destroy motivation, limit the focus on the demanding disease, and create a sense of unworthiness and resentment.
Dealing with negative thinking
Here is the second takeaway. No one can control negative thinking. You can find ways to ease its hold on your mind, but it is pretty challenging to stop the mind from doing what the mind does entirely automatically. So the good news is you can shift your mind to other images and thoughts but you can’t make those angry, sad or bitter thoughts disappear. Sorry, spoiler alert!
The reason you can’t stop those thoughts is that diabetes is a demanding and stressful disease to manage. When humans are stressed, 2 things happen: the fight-flight part of the brain is activated and focuses on the problem more intently to solve it. Essentially, you work at taking care of your diabetes, but you also want to get away from it. You want to avoid the burden of it that is awakened by your thoughts. The problem is that you can’t prevent your thoughts or feelings; they are in your head. Instead, you feel trapped by the disease and are upset. So where does purpose come from to assist you in your diabetes management?
Finding purpose in your diabetes management
Purpose becomes a reason for doing something. It can be a way of being in the world, such as living by your values, or for something outside yourself, such as people you love or care about. The secret to purpose-based living is saying, “I am willing to do something because of something else that matters more to me.”
For example, many patients will say they are willing to take care of their diabetes so they can see their grandchildren grow up, enjoy their retirement or simply be able to take a walk in the woods. All of these are future whys for success.
You can address your inner distress or negative self-talk and take a few clearing breaths to use this purpose effectively. A clearing breath is where the out-breath is 50% to 100% longer than the in-breath. You may breathe deeply into your chest to the count of 3 or 4 seconds and then breathe out for 6 to 8 seconds, based on what is comfortable for you. This clearing breath allows you to ground yourself, let go of your negative self-talk and consider the whys for taking care of yourself.
After you have finished the clearing breath step, say to yourself, “Despite the stress of diabetes, I am willing to take care of diabetes because of […….].”
Your medication setup is a simple way to remind yourself to do this. Place a picture of your family, dog or cottage in your kitchen or bathroom, wherever you keep your diabetes medication. Each time you take your medication or insulin, you are reminded why you are willing to take your medicines for the sake of whatever image is in your photograph. The photo reminds you that although you don’t want to take insulin or medication, you are willing to do so to continue to enjoy what matters most to you in the future. You are shifting a ‘have to’ for a ‘willing to,’ for something that really matters to you.
This sense of purpose increases motivation by having a clear ‘why’ for taking action.
The other power of a clear sense of purpose makes you more resilient. Diabetes, like any chronic illness, has setbacks, challenges and difficulties. A clear understanding of purpose assists you with maintaining self-care despite the burden. Each time a setback activates negative thinking, a sense of clear purpose motivates your health-seeking behaviour.
Purpose can be considered not just a ‘why’ for tolerating the stress of a chronic illness, it can also be seen as a list of values you want to live from in life. When negative thoughts run your diabetes care, you feel resentment, anger and sadness. When living by your values guides your behaviour, you are more likely to feel a sense of pride and satisfaction rather than resentment or anger.
The importance of recognizing values
If you notice your negative thinking while managing your diabetes, take a clearing breath and remind yourself of one value that is important to you. Values are how you want to live your life. They are fuel for our ongoing, committed daily actions. Common values related to diabetes self-care include commitment, forgiveness, understanding and discipline. All of these values can fuel diabetes self-care behaviours. So, for example, if you are acting from a place of commitment, you are committed to self-care despite your urge to ignore a pre-meal blood sugar test. By living from one’s values, people find it easier to take action because they are taking action for what matters most.
So whether it is something outside of you that matters – such as your children, a partner, your work or a commitment to friends – you are willing to take care of your diabetes to spend healthy time with them. Suppose you live from your values each time you take your medication or insulin. Each time you face a diabetes self-care moment, you can actively think, “If I was living from my value of [… committed, accepting, forgiving, strong, disciplined …], how would I behave right now?”
Values and a sense of purpose replace negative thinking as the compass driving your care.
